THE WORKPLACE

        In my generation i was brought up to believe that when you grew up, you graduated from high school,  got married and raised a family, the wife stayed at home to take care of the home and raise the kids. Just like the "mouse house" in my previous blog i would come to find out that was just another fantasy. My working career started when i was 16 yrs. old,  i have been a carhop, grocery store clerk, cashier, candy counter girl @ woolworth's store these were all accomplished while in high school. I married 2 yrs after graduating high school, prior to marriage i worked for illinois bell telephone co. downtown @ continental bank and a clerk in a cleaners.                                                             I was fortunate that i did not have to work after i married, i did not return to work until our one and only child was 14 yrs old, then the infamous mickey D's and the local library were blessed with my presence part time, i left those careers and went to work in a hot dog stand, the best job i ever had, i worked with two sisters whom by the way were irish and proud of that fact,they ran the place and the owner was a Chicago fireman, we didn't see him but maybe once or twice a week. I loved it when people asked "what do u do for a living?"  " I sling wienies and i love my job" was my response. Oh, the times we had there, the laughs, the camaraderie we shared, such fun !!!  I left that part of my career behind due to moving out of state. I sure do miss those days !!                                                              Living in a different state my career led me to working at a video store, another grocery store and another hot dog stand, mind you all these previous jobs were part time careers. Finally i moved onto full time work, jeez how grueling working and maintaining a home that is a tough nut to crack, but other women were doing it so could I. Working at wal-mart was a stressful job only due to the fact that the store manager was "HITLER's" grandson, he was a vicious and cruel young man especially to his dept. managers, he got his comeuppance though, he was fired for having an "illicit love affair" with an employee, whoops not allowed in such a family oriented store. I was so glad to see Karma intervene here. My next move was to a local hospital where i remained for 23 years until i retired.                                                                                                                                                                  Talk about politics and a soap opera, I couldn't decide which one dominated in this field. I was just thinking the other day how come I was never fired from this job, I moved around to several departments, medical records, admitting, lab and ended my career at a satellite center of the hospital. I got along very well with most of my co-workers, it was management where the trouble came in. Now mind you I have never been one to hold back, I have always spoke my mind, which has gotten me into a lot of trouble all my life, so that is where the conflicts came in. I have had good managers and bad ones, my error came when I told the one manager that she was a bad manager, I just did not and to this day still do not understand how some of these managers acquired their positions. Well i did find out that actually "sleeping around" did work for some, true statement, not gossip because I was the unfortunate soul that caught them "in the act". WTF do i do now, keep quiet, tell someone ? As it turned out I did not have to say anything the truth came out, now you think a thing like this would have been instant termination, they were both promoted, one to a supervisors position and the other to managing a department @ the hospital !!!  I KNOW, I KNOW, we who knew were completely 'GOBSMACKED', at this decision so now the new saying at work became " It's not who you know, it's who you blow". Of course only the truly bold would come up with this new verse.                 I have been "written up" reprimanded like a child many times in my 23 years here, some were well deserved, others not. I was a "good employee" even voted as "employee of the month" once. I very rarely called off, I was tardy hence the write-ups. Upon retirement i did get a pretty good pension which by the way this company did not contribute to. All they offered was companies you can go to to invest in, which i was grateful I did.                                                                                                The one manager I was cursed with still haunts me to this day, oil and water were we two, talk about a personality conflict.  OMG !  this woman was out to get me, she is the one i told directly she was a bad manager, I was watched by security to see where i parked, if i was not in the correct place it was to be reported to her so i could have my car towed and be written up for parking in the wrong place.  I was called into her office weekly sometimes more, not for my work performance but confronted by rumors she had heard about me talking about her or a fellow employee, I told her I have always told you of all people the truth and if a rumor is true i would admit it, all of the ones she confronted me with however were not, she would have mandatory department meetings on my day off, I was told if i did not show up for them I would be written up. She would have "pizza parties" for doing a good job in our department, of course it would be on my days off. She would always throw in  " You can always come in and join your co-workers if you wanted to". I told her only if it was mandatory would i show up for that. I never did. We had our final confrontation on a friday when i was leaving work she wanted me in her office when my shift was over, (mind you not on company time) she confronted me this time that she had heard I was talking bad about members of her family, I did take care of some of her relatives as patients, they were all very nice people and i was my usual professional self with them, i denied this allegation as well, then she threatened me, that was it, I told her i was tired of this harassment and I was going to Personnel on Monday. I told her I had documentation of all the times I felt I was called into her office unnecessarily and will give copies to personnel. I did what I said and was told we would have a meeting with all parties concerned. That meeting never came to fruition, however she left the company about 3 weeks after this incident she supposedly took on another position at another hospital, God help them.                                                         A lot of people who were in the upper echelon pretty much left their jobs early, retirement, illness, accepting another position, moving to another state that went on a lot in this area, We the peons knew the truth to most of the reasons why, my dad always said these incidents would not have been tolerated if there was a union. dad, always a union man.                                                                            My last few years of employment were blessed with 2 new managers, HITLER's granddaughters were these two peas in a pod.  The ironic thing here is that they were both co-workers who had no business being managers. Constant complaints from the employees to personnel about these two, alas to no avail.  They ran two different departments and I just don't understand with all the complaints against them how they still prevail ?  I keep in touch with co-workers, since i left 3 yrs ago two of them have retired early thanks to the granddaughters, they just couldn't take it anymore. I did have an exit interview (on paper of course) my words were not kind. I felt throughout my career there I gave my all , I gave "great service" as a devoted employee and what did I receive in return "Disservice". Upon my retirement I received nothing no thank you's, no good-bye's  hell, not even a party!!     That's all for now my 'SPECIAL READERS'    Ta-Ta for now !!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

 

CRITTERS IN THE ATTIC

        Critters, some are cute, ugly, mean, furry, cuddly. I don't mind snakes, spiders, some bugs are ok, I don't have a fear of critters like some, but give me a mouse and OMG i just lose all of my sanity, insanity takes over here. I will admit i go into a complete panic if this critter crosses my path.                                                                                                                                        As a child watching cartoons or even going to the show i remember mice lived in the forest, usually in a tree trunk with a rounded door, go inside and there was a cute lil' mouse house, dad sitting in his comfy chair, reading the paper and smoking his pipe with those big glasses on, mom mouse in the kitchen standing at the table making bread, kneading the dough with flour all over her apron, all the same furniture, appliances everything the same as a human home. So in my childs mind this is how i believed the mouse family actually existed. WRONG !!  Enter reality!                                                                                                                      It turns out mom was terrified of the lil' critters too! Growing up in Chicago i can remember living in 5 different "homes" as a child from birth to age 14, actually they all were apartments except for one it was an actual house. We always lived on the second or third floor as mom told me later in life we lived on the upper floors because mice did not climb up that far !!!  OK mom !!                                                                                                                                          My first encounter with the wretched mice was when we lived in the actual house. 5304 S. Lowe ave.  chicago, il.   Of course the home is no longer standing it was probably more than 100 years old when we lived there in the early 60's. It was nice being in an actual home, not having to worry about making too much noise that would disturb our neighbors, being able to run and yell in the house,  Ah, Freedom !!  That home was infested with mice, I mean overrun with them critters.  When you walked in the front door a big hallway met you, a beautiful staircase going up to 3 bedrooms and a bathroom, the main floor had a living room, dining room, kitchen and 1 bedroom, there was a pantry off the kitchen and the odd thing was it also had a toilet and sink in the pantry, no door, so it was only used by us kids as an emergency, mom hated the idea of having to store food in the pantry with a toilet, let alone use that said toilet.  There was a basement too but was never used, too creepy for me to go down there. My sister and brother used to go down and it was kind of their playroom, a hangout  once in awhile i would go there to listen to Beatles albums but only if someone else was there too. To get to the basement you had to go thru the door in the only bedroom on the first floor.                                                                                                                                                          My brother had the bedroom on the main floor, I can remember being pretty sick one time, probably the flu, mom said i had to sleep in brothers room, she did not want me to get the other kids sick. What a horrid night that was, those mice were in the walls, i could hear them all night long, scratching and scurrying about, they were even scratching on that basement door, as if they were saying "let me in". I never heard these noises in my upstairs bedroom, could mom have been right, they don't climb up that far ?  After about 6 hours of this tortuous noise i started crying and went up to my own room, at this point i did not give a darn if anyone else got sick !!  Needless to say we did not stay too long in our very first "home" we moved out after about 6 months, mom nor myself could not live with the critters anymore !!                                                                                                                                                              So here i am 50 years later in a home of my own, one that hubby and i built from scratch. It's late fall and i am comfy on my recliner watching late night tv, i hear something, i put the tv on mute, lo and behold i hear scratching on the ceiling in the corner of the living room, my heart starts racing, i break out in a sweat, i am giving myself a panic attack, critters in the attic!!!  I jump up go to the spot where i hear the scratching, sure enough its getting louder and now there are running noises back and forth on the ceiling, more scratching, surely the critters are going to scratch a hole right thru that ceiling and thousands of them will come tumbling down into my home !!!  OMG !! I wake up hubby he is a bit upset with me because i make him come and listen, it's getting louder now, he says he doesn't hear anything, WTF !  In my panic i forgot that his hearing is going and of course he doesn't hear it.                                                                                                                                                        After a pretty much sleepless night, listening for the critters and waiting for that hole to appear i get up the next morning, checking the whole house for ceiling holes, none found praise the lord, if i would have found any proof of them critters i would have headed to the nearest Motel 6.                                                                                                                                                        I am in the parking lot now waiting for our local hardware store to open @ 8am, of course i am their first customer of the day, i purchase a 20 lb bag of D-con, i rush home and have hubby put all 20 lbs of those pellets in the attic, i feel relieved already.  After several days i haven't heard any sounds, ahh!!  i can sleep tonite.                                                                              Well mom i can finally prove you wrong about something   mice do climb that high !!  Till next time my SPECIAL READERS !  Ta-Ta for now !!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

A PLAY ON WORDS

Last week hubby and I were at the outpatient clinic for his tests, 4 grueling and pain filled hours for him, just grueling for me. I use to work here at this clinic so I was able to chat and catch up with a few of my fellow co-workers. My last conversation of the day was with a sweet girl who came up and sat next to me, she gave me a big hug, said she missed working with me wished i was still there and stated how things have changed since myself and a few other workers left there, she said she wanted to give me a special thank you for my book, she said she received it , started reading it and before she knew it she was crying. I felt awful, was it that bad?  She said so many of my words touched her, how she could relate to things that are going on in her life right now to the things i had gone through, she was so happy to discover as she put it "she was not alone" she said so many subjects, the depression, anxiety anger  those were all in there speaking to her.                                                                                          I actually felt my heart lift up, I had the feelings of a child's delight and excitement  on christmas morning!! To think that words that came to my mind, thoughts i had,all written down in an arrangement of words could help someone gave me such great JOY ! My whole purpose and goal was to write down my words so that others could and would benefit from them. Finally, I felt my accomlishment and dream has been  reached. I have always been a person to try and help others, we are all going thru something or another, some may hide it, others like me speak out about it. For me it is a great outlet, such a therapeutic feeling to write down the things that are invading my peace of mind, and if it truly does bother me i will rant and rave and give it a piece of my mind.                                     I hope i can continue on this path of giving others a way to find peace and help on their path thru this thing called LIFE !  Take care my SPECIAL READERS !  Ta-Ta for now !

OMA - a family of cancers

I did not realize there were so many cancers with oma in them, carcinoma, sarcoma, lymphoma,  blastoma,  glioma, but the one that decided to reside in hubby is melanoma. We found out in March of 2018 that this vicious bastardly thing decided to set up housekeeping on or in his eye,  Ocular melanoma they called it. Quite rare they said, hubby decided to have treatment of radioactive seed plaque to combat this .5mm tumor on his eye. surgery done plaque removed 4 days later, ok seeds, lets get to work and kill this unwanted visitor. 3 month follow-up, looking good, about 1 to 2 % shrinkage of tumor, eyesight is still at a 60% loss, of course this has to be in his right eye the dominant one.  6 month follow-up, looking better (no pun intended here) 3 to 4 % shrinkage, sight ratio is still the same,   9 month follow-up 4% shrinkage, they say it could take 2-5 years for tumor to completely dissipate if seeds do their job.  Hubby also had choice of having eye completely removed but decided against that when he was told most of his sight would return, after all he is an avid shooter, trap & skeet shooting, he won many accolades and trophies enjoying this sport, he is also a bird hunter, pheasant, quail, chukar, he would take annual hunting trips every november to do what he loved doing the most.  One year March 2019 follow-up the tumor is dying the only drawback to this is a distant relative called choroidal malignant melanoma has moved in right next to the dying tumor. This one is also .5mm, now when we were told about the first tumor we asked how long had it been there  "probably one to one and a half years", no symptoms, hubby woke up one day said he was seeing "psychedelic colors" in his right eye and lo and behold this is what it was. Now if this new tumor is the same size as the dying one and it wasn't there 3 months ago i think we got some major issues here. OH yeah, this is a very aggressive one here people.                                                                                                                       Now come all the tests, mri's ct scans, surgery scheduled to completely remove his eye ! whoa, hold on test results show this tumor has decided to take up residence in hubby's spine and liver.  Well panic city here we come !!!  Eye removal surgery is cancelled now, we have more mri's and ct's scheduled later this week and then biopsies to determine what stage this cancer is in.  STAGE !!!  STAGE !!    what the hell kind of role do we play on this unwanted stage,  perhaps chemo, no more radiation we were told, it would do more harm than good  HUH !  Now we are at the stage of wait and see, from what i can see this is bad, and i do mean extremely very bad,                                                                                                                                 This man i see before me is not the same, how can he be, he is rapidly losing weight, he is on painkiller meds, the pain in his back is excruciating for him, this is a macho man people who can take pain like a man (as that saying goes), not this time. he is getting weaker every day, he sleeps so much now, a man who always said naps were for sissies, no appetite, no energy.                                                                                                                                                             Hubby has been dealing with cancer since 2010 it was prostate cancer then, that one was cured, skin cancers, numerous ones, those were cured, We are not too sure about this one though, Sure everyone says keep your hopes up, all are praying for him which is so appreciated, have faith !!                                                                                                                                     We have long days ahead of us here to face, we can only hope and pray, after all it is out of our hands,  come what may,  we can just take it day by day.                                                                    I will be posting as much as i can but with the circumstances here we will see when and if.  Take care my SPECIAL READERS!  Ta-Ta for now. 

NO REST FOR THE WEARY SOUL

Well, tired is not the word i can use more like a hangover feeling, i have only had 2 hangovers in my 66 years but somehow you don't forget what they feel like, headachy, cobwebs in head, a little dizzy but this feeling is not due to the abuse of alcohol it is from lack of sleep, crying and now anger.                  well it looks like mr. barr and i are going to take up residence again in "cancer city", if u read my book u will get my meaning. mr. barr went for his yearly exam for his occular melanoma and lo and behold another tumor has invaded his eye right next to the other one. now occular melanoma is a rare cancer first we were told, 1 in 6 million chance, then 1 in 600, 000, then 1 in 6,000. too many 666's for me. his dr.whom is a specialist said this is only the third time he has seen this in his 38 yrs of practice, at least he didn't throw another 6 at us. on our first visit when we had found out about this first tumor we had asked how long this tumor was there we were told possibly a year or more, this new tumor which is bigger arrived in 4 months, talk about AGGRESSIVE now more ct scans and mri's to make sure this bastard thing has not spread. if not he will have  his right eye completely removed in 2 weeks providing it is contained in eye only. so prayers are needed please. That was our news yesterday after our visit to Univ or Illinois medical center. I did not accompany Mr. barr yesterday due to the fact on my first visit there with my son and hubby i was asked to refrain from going, i was more of a hindrance, i have to use a walker and have to stop quite often and i was holding them back, No problem since i was in the high anxiety mode from the beginning of that visit. Thank God for family who were able to take him back and forth for those visits.                                                                                                                                                            You know i just don't get it you scrimp and save all your life to have a little extra income for your golden years and it can be gone in less than a year due to medical bills, With all of these new tests ordered mri's ct scans, ultrasounds, lab work dr and hospital and don't forget surgeons, anesthesiologists, those bills will probably be more than what our house is worth. No one prepares for this dilema or do they, we sure as hell didn't, let alone the pain and suffering and stress that comes along with it.                                                                                                                                                                    Now we are on pins and needles again waiting for good news or bad, after Mr. barr's visit to ER 2 weeks ago for agonizing back and center back pain i do not see a good prognosis to this outcome. I have never seen my hubby suffer with pain like that, their diagnosis  "muscle spasms" after being there for over 6 hrs  (geez, i just realized there is that number 6 again) if that pain he endured were muscle spasms then i am a virgin people !!!                                                                                                                       We were told Dr. Miehler from Uof I health is the best in this field, he has patients come from all over the USA for his speciality in this field of cancer, but no Dr. no matter how good he is can perform miracles or can they? All we can do at this point is play the waiting game, a game i hope we will win !!                                              TA-TA for now my SPECIAL READERS !                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

STRESSFUL TUESDAY

AH!!! It's going to be one of those days !!  Hubby is having his yearly check-up today. One year ago he was diagnosed with Occular Melanoma, he won the lottery on that one as to it being a 1 in 6,000 chance of getting that particular cancer. I won't go into all the different cancers he has endured during his journey of life that is described in my book. He has been ill for several weeks now, usual winter ailments so we will see how this visit goes today. GOOD LUCK MR. B !!!                                                                                                                                        It's funny when you think about your senior years how you never figure major illnesses to be accompanied with it. You make your plans when you are young for retirement but so many different paths along that journey take you in different directions. Children come along, a mortgage, too many bills to count so you get misdirected as to the savings for retirement. Before you know it your 40's have arrived, time to get cracking on those retirement savings for sure, yeah OK, God bless the ones who can achieve this goal, but we have discovered life gets in the way, We did manage to get something saved but not as well as others. We all have worked hard to get here but some just did better than others. God Bless Them! Like us i am sure many will have medical bills follow them to the grave, so do i pay the bills or sock it away for retirement, i guess it depends on your priorities, ours were to pay the bills, they would get the monies anyway !!                                                                                    Some of our friends and relatives spend some or all  of their winter be it in florida or arizona. Florida patrons can go sit on the beach and have a beautiful view of the gulf, ocean, bay. We are blessed with a view of a waiting room full of people waiting for their Dr. appointment. Some get to travel the highways and by-ways of beautiful America in their travel trailers, we get to fight the Dan Ryan expressway going to downtown Chicago for the dreaded Dr. appointment.  Ah !  priorities !!  Now don't get me wrong these people have worked long hard years to have gotten to this time of their lives so please ENJOY!!                          I guess the point i am trying to make today is life is full of stress, some days are easier than others, sure plan for that retirement however you want to just please enjoy your youth too, you never know what those senior years are going to bless you with.                                             I will keep you updated on Mr. b's outcome my special readers, so TA-TA for now.                                                                                                                                                                                                 

  As you may have noticed in my other posts  i love winter pictures so i will be adding them to the posts.                               

SUNDAY- DAY OF REST OR HOLY DAY

AH !!  SUNDAY, a day of rest according to my dad or a Holy day according to the catholic church. Yes you guessed it i was raised a catholic girl and an irish one to boot.  Ah, the infamous attending mass day on Sunday, such a stressful time for me.  According to mom and dad i had to attend mass with them, but the nuns insisted we go to mass with our class. Dad won of course but i had to pay for it on Mondays.  Sister : " why did you not attend mass with your class yesterday young lady?"   Me: " Sister we have discussed this before , my parents want me to go to church with them".  WHACK ! with ruler across hand,  "Don't sass me little missy, you know the rules, mass with your class"  hey that rhymes, i dare not tell her of her poetic rhyme  i knew that metal ruler would smack the other hand if i said that.  Such a dilemma for a child to endure but i put up with it as i did so many other things at the wrath of the nuns.  Believe me during my writings i will discuss these wives of GOD,truthfully  we are all "blessed" due to the fact these creatures are married to him and not some poor mortal man ! Sunday was always a visit to gram's home for dinner, chicken or ham, no variety there unless it was a holiday then a turkey would be thrown in. I loved Sunday's at grams the whole family would gather, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends  a good day !! After dinner and clean-up the  Adults gathered in the kitchen playing card games, having adult beverages, cussing,  swearing and having a good ole' time. we kids were gathered in the living room, playing board games or if it was nice, playing outside. We kids dare not go into the kitchen to "disrupt" the adults unless someone was "bleeding to death" or else !!   During the summer months maybe twice per summer,  we would forego dinner at grams and stop at the infamous " Kentucky Fried Chicken" pick up a bucket of chicken and fixin's and go to the park for a picnic, a real treat for me and my sisters and brother, a great joy for mom, no cooking or having to clean up at grams, of course we would go to grams after our picnic and poor mom would still get stuck helping to clean up. Mom had 10 brothers and sisters so you know we had huge gatherings, but oh the fun we had too.                                                                  Unfortunately these are only wonderful memories now, most of the adults  have passed on and all of us kids are grown with kids of our own and their kids have kids now too. I sure do miss those good ole' days and wish i could go back, but we all know that just will not happen only in our memories can we go back and reminisce about these wonderful times as a child.   I will close for now, you my special reader have yourself a fabulous Holy Day or Day or Rest.  Ta-Ta for now !!            

THE BIRTH OF ME !!

As you can guess by the title this is my very first blog, intro to me is that i will be writing about  WHATEVER floats my boat or to be more precise whatever kind of mood i am in that day. I would love suggestions from you my special reader on any topic you want to share or just chew the fat about. I will always have humor, some wisdom (or so i think) hopefully inspirational, but most important and number one will be truth and honesty. I am a storyteller, i have just self published a book in january of 2019, hoping to raise monies to help pay medical bills, so far the royalties have amounted to not even a quarter of the budget payment plan from the hospital bill. I was born into debt and so shall i die into debt. the great american way ! I will not be using paragraphs in my writings, to be honest i do not get along well with all the different keys on the board so to hell with them. I am a retired 60 something, morbidly obese (so the doctors say) woman who speaks her mind and has gotten into trouble with that since childhood. I will touch on many and any subject i choose, you can agree to disagree with me. My writings will be nilly-willy, here there and everywhere and helter skelter. In otherwords i have a tendency to drift off to other places, but in the end hopefully it will get my point across and make some sense out of my ramblings. I may publish my blog daily, or maybe every other day, maybe just several times a week, it all depends on how life is treating me that day... as i am sure you can relate to.  So that will be it for today, hopefully you can email me at milkduds203@gmail.com. as i said i don't know how many contraptions work and i can get back to y'all.  TA-TA for now !!